" Happy Birthday!… It’s my pension….so you don’t have to steal it.”
Featuring my homie CintronicComedy. Check out his other vids here.
Maybe it’s being in my last year of my 20s. Or maybe it’s feeling like I’m finally sinking into my professional life, my adult self and knowing- this is who I fucking am…
- I hate dubstep.
- Love the San Francisco Giants, and cannot, nay WILL NOT date someone who is an LA Dodger’s fan.
- I am an incredibly huge sucker for songs with 808 kicks, piano loops, horns and Emcee and a Mic, which means that despite my backpacker indie tendencies I love shit I’m “too cool” to actually love.
- I know all the words to Nate Dog & Warren G.’s ‘Regulators,’
- I cry every time I watch the movie Up. I have a J. Crew problem, but admit I try and wear it as edgy-ly and urban professional as possible (yup that’s a thing).
- Pac over Biggie. Nas over Jay. Black MJ over Nose-Falling-Off MJ and the Roots are the greatest band ever.
- I love all lemon desserts and don’t actually love chocolate as much as most women.
- If I don’t have eyeliner on, I’m insecure, but know I will survive.
- I hope to tell my kids I met their dad having a hokey dance battle and my incredibly bad body roll is what won the war.
(SF Nails did for a wedding during the 2010 World Series Race, Gold Fitted, Work fit for a day vs. the Dodgers.)
I’m settling in. Not necessarily to a life with any type of permanence but again, I know who the fuck I am. And sure, maybe I don’t know everything, but I know a lot. I know enough right now to know that our obsession with “Girls” or the word “girl” drives me fucking crazy.
I read this and I’m not gonna lie- I’m psyched for these chicks. It’s amazing that all of these female comedians, writers, producers and powerhouses are finally getting attention and through mainstream media sources- satiating our appetites with chick shit. (Yeah I don’t like what I did there, but I mean it).
But as revolutionary as it might be, that we’ve finally got women on TV or in movies that aren’t part of “Sex and the City” or side characters in some ensemble cast, I can’t help but be irked by the whole “Girls” thing.
(Xmas gifts from my parents… Because I’m a Jane of all trades)
For every second that I am a “girl” I’m also not a “girl”. I will always be an “angry mixed girl.” I will always know that when my “homegirls” talk about issues with their sisters, there are dynamics involved that only us “girls” will understand. But I’ll be damned if I’m that “little girl” that works for the city, don’t refer to me and my friends as ‘girls,” we’re grown ass women & I will never be a “not so cute- cute- Asian girl”. I’m just not having it.
That may all seem a bit backwards but lets face it, I decide when I’m a girl-doing girly things. “Shit Girls Say” is hilarious and I do some of that shit, but not only do I have a problem with women, particularly funny ones mentioned in the article being labeled girls just by nature of having a Vaginga because it borders sexism so finely its almost too hot of a word- it might actually be deeper.
(That’s a Transformer Bandaid incase you were wondering. I am pure class.)
New Girl, and Shit Girls Say (the original not the parody) and Two Broke Girls, and HelloGiggles, xoJane & the Hairpin, all the names named and well, White Girl Problems are exactly that. White Girl Shit. I like white girl shit, I do. But what if this whole “Girl” thing, belongs to white girls?
Yes, some dudes parodied Shit Girls Say, with Shit Black Girls Say. Yes- you MAY have even seen something about Black Girls Rock or Black Girls Are From the Future, out there encouraging positive portrayals of black women or embracing images of black women that don’t fall so neatly into previous stereotypes and embrace more eclectic aesthetics, sounds, interests.
But lets’ be real here. You had NO idea about that did you? No clue.
I’m not advocating we abolish the term, or that we reclaim it on some new 8th phase SocialMediaFeminism tip.
I love that Mindy Kaling is mentioned in here, I love her book, and wish we were friends IRL, she admits to being a girly girl, shit she talks about it at length. But face it, she’s only one small part of this game.
There are no women of color on SNL right now, well, Nasim Pedraf is some kind of olive. I loved bridesmaids and wished I had been in the game enough to get cast as her Asian friend, but come on… Maya Rudolph’s character was written as Biracial- shit her daddy was a dark man with LOCKS. But all her friends were white and her only relative in the wedding was blond haired and blue eyed? Suspect.
I dig so much about HelloGiggles and other sites like HighSnobette, geared toward younger women in my age bracket, but I still just feel like I’m not one of ‘these’ (read:white) girls. Calling successful-brown-women “girls”, successful-brown-funny-women in particular feels so diminutive and so last century. The submissive Asian girl, and sassy black girl are passe.
I’m not gonna sit here and pretend that the kind of women I’m talking about here, are in abundance in entertainment. It’s still a man’s game. I recognize it’s hard and I recognize that to get this kind of attention we still have to play sweet enough for people to love us and take care of us, or trashy enough for people to want to help us. Madonna or Whore shit. All of these women deserve their kudos (whatever happened to kudos the snack food?) and I will be the first to stand up and start a slow clap ala epic movie moment, but by calling them girls it almost feels like we’re diminishing their true success. They paid their dues and deserve more.
Hey Bey, Who runs the world? Girls?
Ms. White my comedy Grandma.
Melissa McCarthy, you are my new hero.
presented without comment