Ima Let You Finish, But 2009 Was the Whackest DubZero of All Time: Dec 31, 2009 

Dubzeros

2009

Personal biz aside: 2009 was full of whackness. Rant-worthy indeed. And yeah, is the title over quoted? FA SHO. But if the shoe fits dammit, wear the em-effing shoe.

Politics:

• Obama starts his clean up– overturns limits to money spent on stem cell research but sends more troops… I mean seriously how do you honestly say “I got this” when there’s this much bullshit deal with? I feel like he was left with a tube sock and an old battery and told to make lemonade. Bad analogy? Fuck yeah. Make sense to me? You know it.

• Year of the political sex scandal… do I really need to name names here?

• SOTOMAYOR!!!!!!

Fashion:

• Madmen-> 60’s cocktail dresses and junk– everyone wanted to be one of the characters for Halloween or in everyday life for some. There’s an appeal to full skirts I guess, or sharp suits, but who can really dress like this every day.

• Michelle Obama-> J. Crew gets a little bit of a bump in sales. I’m not gonna lie, there’s always been something intreaguing to me about some of J.Crew’s stuff possibly because my inner nerdy educator/student thinks there’s a way to funk up some of these clothing bits (esp. the ones that are brightly colored) but that shit still ain’t cheap.

• Aretha Franklin Inauguration Hat-> fascinators and such sold by hipster lines/websites and worn by many a famous and not so famous lady. I’m not so into this idea. I mean MAYBE if there was a real occasion, but most folks don’t have the chops to pull off church lady hats on just any old day. Yeah I said it, CHURCH LADY HATS.

Other: How would one be concise about this category in 2009? Like this.

• Balloon Boy. • We loose the king of Pop. • Octomom. • John & Kate need to shut the fuck up. • Tiger. • Celebrity Drug Scandals: Oh god, Micheal Phelps & Timmy Lincecum smoke weed?! The horror! • “Death Panels”. • Twitter twitter twatter. • Rihanna/Chris Brown or Mary J. Blige punching her husband or… well a lot of R&B/Hip-Hop Couple Drama. • Sparkle Vampires and Buff Werewolves. • Cap’n Sully & Plane. • Serena curses out line judge. • Glee. • Iran. • Tea Parties. • I’m not even gonna go further.•

For a better look at Oh-Nine Others Watch this…

Movies:

• Push by Sapphire is turned into Precious. I was skeptical about how the adaptation would turn out, still haven’t had the opportunity to see the movie. But I guess with Oprah’s seal of approval you can’t really go wrong can you?

• Disney releases its first animated movie in… forever, with its first black princess. Again, not having had the opportunity to see it I can’t offer much more comment than its been buzzed about controversialized and now released and I’m excited as hell for when I do get to see it.

• Another musical movie with Nicole Kidman, whatever. And of course Sparkle Vamps– Morgan Freeman as Nelson Mandela, John Cho KILLING it as Sulu in Star Trek … What an array of movies this year. Up was probably one of the saddest flicks I’ve ever seen. Again having that Wall-E effect on me, that’s right I’m coining the term. THE WALL-E EFFECT. Other mentions: Hangover fever. Avatar- an alien remake of Dances With Wolves… awesome.

DJ Earworm - United State of Pop 2009 (Blame It on the Pop) - Mashup of Top 25 Billboard Hits

Music: ALL OVER THE PLACE.

• The pop nonsense that is Lady Gaga and her nonsense fits/singles vs. Black Eyed Peas giving us more ridiculous lines. (Among others).

• Underground phenomena that is Kid Cudi becoming mainstream Vs. fugging Drake busting out Canadian TV to become one of the most featured artists with stupid lines.

• Hip-hop being two pronged: Jay-Z coming back again (because every album is a comeback now) with Blueprint three– dominating the charts. Vs. the hiphopster (that’s hip hop plus hipster) straight bullshit that is Asher Roth WASP. (Credit J-boog for that one). I mean I honestly can’t even begin to talk about the whackness that was 09 in music. Some good shit came out too, but seriously…

I’m really happy for you 2009, and Ima let you finish…  but 2009 was one of the whackest dubzeros of all time.

Eight(08) down one to go: I heart the Dubzeros 2008: Dec 30, 2009

2008

Last year wasn’t so bad for me– no deaths, no crazy illnesses or crazy happenings… maybe it was just lick that I entered the 1/4 life with no PERSONAL nonsense. Lots of nonsense however went down.

Politics:

• OH-BAH-MAH

•  Ms. Going Rogue herself Palin gives us all a reason to over use the term and sort of miss use it as well. The definition on my computer is amazing… 1. a dishonest or unprincipled man : you are a rogue and an embezzler. Or a person whose behavior one disapproves of but who is nonetheless likable or attractive (often used as a playful term of reproof) : Cenzo, you old rogue!

2 [usu. as adj. ] an elephant or other large wild animal driven away or living apart from the herd and having savage or destructive tendencies : a rogue elephant or a person or thing that behaves in an aberrant, faulty, or unpredictable way : he hacked into data and ran rogue programs or an inferior or defective specimen among many satisfactory ones, esp. a seedling or plant deviating from the standard variety.

• Bailout bailout bailout.

Fashion:

• Nerd glasses ala Buddy Holly were taken on as a trend perhaps inspired by the what my sister and I call ‘the hipness’ – or hipster fashion. Maybe it’s just the resurgance of Rayban wayfarers and junk. I dunno don’t get me wrong I love my aviator sun glasses from them but regular glasses Idunneevenkno…I’m not really sure if folks just think their you know “ironic” enough to be cool or what.

• Gladiator sandals… dunno some crossed into some bondagey type stuff to me. Cute I guess, sometimes? Maybe? I’m still not sure how I feel since every bish out on the street was sporting a pair.

• All over print hoodies… I love a good print. I dare not wear too many at the advice of folks like Stacy and Clinton on What Not to Wear in that they can make me look small and wide. But lord in heaven if I didn’t see wayyyyy too many an all over print hoodie. Or rather, wayyyy too many an overwhelming print. Riding the bus when school just got out was sometimes like a bad acid trip. NEON and PRINT and CRAZY ALL OVER NESS!!! Whew I’m over stimulated just thinking about it.

Katt Williams Cloned Meat

Other:

• FDA says cloned food is safe to eat… uh… anyone seen Kat William’s take on this? (At 4:40 though the whole clip is hilarious.) I’ma just say I agree with him cause I could not have a better response to this.

• Writers strike makes TV unbearable particular fanatics of shit like lost who just opt not to tape after the strike is over.

• CA legalizes gay marriage in May, the supreme court ruling it’s unconstitutional only to pass Prop 8 in November which basically says no actually it’s not legal. Good job CA good job.

“Jai Ho” in Chicago (the Slumdog Millionaire Dance)

Movies:

• Slumdog Millionaire. OH GOD LOOK HOW SAD SLUMS IN INDIA OF ALL PLACES?! Yet you cannot deny the appeal of a good bollywood dance scene at the end of a movie. If only all of life’s issues were resolved like that no? (can’t find the real video).

• Oh Dark Knight… oh Heath Ledger how sad, dark and deep. Great piece of film for anyone who loves superhero flicks but NOT so great for anyone who has coulrophobia­– or that is a fear of clowns as I do. Shuddering just typing that. Though there were many dramas last year that merited consideration: Milk and… Ok Milk was the only one I really cared about– no single movie impacted me as much as the Dark Knight and why? Because of how scared shitless I was of the clowns in the first 20 minutes.

• Wall-E. Not the best in cinematic history. However now, more than ever I debate with a few friends if Wall-E is more than another Pixar flick. Some argue its one of the greatest stories ever told or retold– someone lonely seeking companionship. Other’s believe its just boring and has no real plot. At this current juncture in my life I instead nearly break down in tears thinking… shit all I want is a companion like that. (academia is soooo isolating yo- I recently cried when a friend kissed me on the cheek thinking, “shit, how little social interaction I’ve had …). Okayyyyy that said… What’s the next category???

l

Music: 2008 doesn’t even merit a video. I’m sorry I just can’t with all the crap that came out.

• God last year was the year of “woman” music. By “woman” music I mean Katie Perry kissed a girl and told, Rihanna had a couple solo hits but was on everyone’s track as well, Britney came back. Leona Lewis and that bleeding love shit… Yet everyone’s favorite woman song of 2008: “Single Ladies.” Beyonce… you just… how… I heard it too many times. It’s been adopted by all the single ladies out there, parodied to no end and well… Its just hard NOT to get stuck in your head. YET she sings if I were a boy. This Sasha Fierce shit was too much for me. Not everyone gets to walk around pretending they have an alter ego but this bitch– cause she’s famous does? Lame. Not that I want an alter ego or anything… well no I mean…hmm.

• WEEZY. Lil Wayne releases Tha Carter III and is featured on a crapload of singles for other artists. To be real: I like SOME of his OLDER shit and for NOSTALGIC reasons (caps lock excess much?). But he got 8 mufugging grammy nominations?! Now let me back track I got a friend who won a grammy for being featured on an album that won best in it’s category. I know he got to vote for the grammy’s as a result… so when I think of him, and the rest that vote… WEEZY does not come to mind as a winning artist. He won like 4 but still… forreal? This is hip hop? Maybe once in a while… but 8 hat tips?! This shit still doesn’t sit right a year later.

• Jonas, Miley, Demi, Selena, Taylor = the Nsync, Backtreet Boys, Britney BS of the earlier part of the decade. Vom.

DubloSeven: I heart the dubzeros: Dec 29, 2009 

2007

Politics:

• Nancy Pelosi is elected speaker of the house.

• The race for the white house that has now become historic featuring our first black man and first woman candidates ever.

• Cheney serves as acting president for 2 hours because Bush is getting his poop shoot checked out. I fail to see how this is news worthy.

Fashion:

• Hate to say this, but the sneaker world has been doing collabos with artists and designers for a mintute, but in 2007 other parts of the fashion world tried to do the same. But again it all boils down to the still popular “grown ass man” look Kanye+Murikami+MarcJacobs+LouisVuitton crap gwanz onz.

•By the same token high luxury saw a competitor in traditionally hippy granola munching tree huggerish shit with a rise in “eco” clothing. Literally meant we saw more uppity designers start to use sustainable fibers and what nots.

• I saw a thing calling it a burlesque revival, but I don’t think that really qualifies. The likes of Dita Von Teese and folks wanting to look 40s glam brought about the curls and fashions we saw in pics of our grandmas. Coincidentally the bouffant and Rosie the Riveter like look was brought back by none other than the train wreck of the decade herself Amy Winehouse and every beezy was trying to replicate her famous “eyeliner”. Frankly I think it was excessive. She made a FAB Halloween costume that year though.

MLB Moments - Barry Bonds Hits Home Run Number 756

Other:

•Jeopardy, for the first time in hits history had a three way tie (WHO CARES?)

• BARRY BONDS (!) breaks Hank Aaron’s record and is now the homerun record holder. In the bay we are not fair weather fans and still love him regardless of what you say. More on how I really feel about that here.

• Hello iPhone good bye technology as we knew it.

Movies:

•Another year for drama with No Country for Old Men, There Will Be Blood, Michael Clayton, Atonement… blah who cares.

• Johnny Depp departs Jack Sparrow for a bit and becomes Sweeny Todd though he isn’t harsh on the eyes the bloodiness freaks people out, sad as that may be no worries, Ratatouille came out as well and you can always watch that to get your head right.

• Juno. Juno juno juno juno. I’m torn about this one. I like it a bit. But Micheal Cera wears on me sometimes. And Diablo Cody’s writing is kinda lame at others. Its too… its trying too hard to be quirky. Yes there are a few moments of genius. But hmmm… Yet it makes way for more quirky movies. Likewise her personal story, a stripper turned writer, makes way for anyone to write? Maybe? Or is that why people thought it was so effing fantastic? A stripper wrote that sweet weird film about teen pregnancy, lets feel sorry for her? I don’t know.

Kanye West - Good Life ft. T-Pain

Music:

• Fergie’s still doing her solo junk. And club bangers are still hot– Walking it out, partying like a rock star, telling us why you’re hot, even throwing some d’s on that shit. Of the most irritating however is probably Crank That. I mean I really thought that maybe Akon and T-Pain were the worst we’d seen but apparently Soulja Boy is tryna take that title. PLUS my boy Bamma had the opportunity to see Michael Eric Dyson speak wherein he dissected the meaning of the song in an academic yet hilarious way brings out just how stupid this shit is– a birthday phone call from Bamma in which he retold this ish I will never forget.

• Kanye releases his third album, “Graduation.” I still hate this motherfucker. I will probably hate him forever. But 2006 was kinna a rough year for me and for whatever reason a handful of shit on Graduation just kind of carried me through ’07. Funny thing is I hardly think I’m alone. Shit everyone thought they were a champion, and errrybody wanted to be stronger, and shit I wanted to go for mine, I wanted to shine. In early ’08 when I’d be out and about recovering from a crazy end of 2007 this song would come on at a club and boyyyyy would I feel it. Do I love me some Yeezy? Hell no. But whatever in the moment it was aight. Over saturated though we may be by these songs seems like they did something for a lot of people.

• Feist hits the scene and get another overused indie song. I kinda feel for her since 1,2,3,4 will always be associated with the Apple Nano.

2006

Politics:

• Dick Cheney shoots someone while quail hunting.

• May Day protests for immigrant rights held across the country (and little known fact is that they are largely youth organized).

• AIG is now under legal fire, so is Tom Delay and Ben Bernanke takes over for Alan Greenspan as chairman of the federal reserve…money/drama/money drama much?

Fashion:

• Mini skirts are back the likes of which we haven’t seen since 60’s mod/gogo wear pair em with a big belt and a pair of ballet flats (which while cute prove to be not supportive enough for me) and you got yourself a boob holster and barely there crotch coverer. Sweet!

• Skinny jeans get skinnier as does their audience. Men start wearing the releasing upon the world MVPL or male visible panty line. Making the perfect foil, along with leggings for the tunic tops that are out sparking the anti leggings movement “LEGGINGS ≠ PANTS”.

• Apparently this is also the year that hipster/boho/pirate chic accessories came about…What does that mean? Thingamagigs and doodads abounds– bracelets and rings and necklaces and scarves are not singular accessories but worn en masse ala Jack Sparrow. Apparently one is definitely not enough and that old fashion adage of “take off the lastthing you put on,” is passé.

Other:

•Youtube meet world. World, meet youtube. Commence changing everything and over saturation of interesting “cat” videos to watch.
• Spinach recall 2006.
•Time.com’s list of the top 10 underreported stories notes that a record number of Americans were imprisoned stating that one in every 32 adults were in jail accounting for 7 million people over all.

Al Gore on 30 Rock

Movies:
•DiCaprio is in the Departed & Blood Diamond– BD being one of 2 movies about Africa that are big– and penguins are still hot just now in animated form– Happy Feet and what not.
•American Idol releases Jennifer Hudson who partners with 1/2 of the most powerful couple in Hip-Hop bey, to do Dreamgirls. Sweet an American movie about people of color… Jhud kills it.
• Al Gore takes on environmentalism and movies with an Inconvenient Truth bringing way more attention to going green and appeasing all the film nerds out there with the cinematography. This  personally is interesting because it makes way for many a hilarious cameo on TV shows and the like parodying himself and or the green movement.

Dungeon Family - Crooked Booty

Music:
• A lot of music remains stupid (read: “Laffy Taffy,” “The Whistle Song,” “Lean With it Rock With it,” “Ms. New Booty” “Smack That,” and anything by Chamillionaire) but Cee-Lo comes back on the scene making way for a new audience not familiar with his solo tips, Goodie Mob or 1st gen dungeon fam – but seriously “Crazy” and Gnarls Barkely aint got shit on his older jaunts. Get with it please.
• Solo jaunts for Fergie, Justin Timberlake & Bey’s latest talk about panties falling down, bringing sexy back and how everything you own is in a box to the left (yeah that was an intentional rhyme).
• And we’re sadly given a chance for prefab girl groups to infect us without our consent with Pussycat dolls short lived success after last year’s I’m so vain hit and Diddy’s release of Danity Kane’s album. There will always be boy-bands and girl groups but… I’m kinda thinking their reign is coming to a close, at least for now.

I*heart* the Dubzeros: 2005 going dumb: Dec 27, 2009

2005


I bid adieu to the east coast and headed back to the bay, but damn did a lot of dumb shit go down in Oh-Five.

Bush Doesnt Care About Black People

Politics:

• Hurricane Katrina

•The U.S. Supreme Court rules that the death penalty is unconstitutional for folks who committed crimes as minors. I suppose just killing them all off on the streets or letting them rot in prison makes sense then?

• Sandra Day O’Connor retires– Bush nominates a shit load of crappy candidates.

Fashion:

• “Embellished” shit. Aka sequins, embroidery doodads and what nots on everything. As a girl with some bigger proportions a lot of it started to make me think it made my sized women look like Vegas signage.

• Volume… also not friendly to women with my kinda curvage. Everything made folks like us look pregnant or bloated for skinny girls a lot of them ended up looking like lollipops. Big on top with sticks for legs.

• Ah, the year that the “big ass bag” came out. You know, the ones that could fit people under 5 feet in them? The ones that really truly have no reason to be that big? Why not just carry a piece of luggage with you?

Other:

• Disneyland is 50!

• We loose one of the greatest of all time, Richard Pryor.

• Pluto is reclassified as a moon not a planet blowing every child of the 80’s minds right out of the water… ok all children before kids who were then in school.

Movies:

• Drama gets its spot this year with such features as Walk the Line, perhaps a sad final sort of role for the now insane Joaquin Phoenix… and Brokeback Mountain­ – gay cowboys and yet another highly over quoted line, “I wish I knew how to quit…” quoting that damned line. Come on mainstream media. We’ve had enough.

• On the lighter side of things a movie about penguins hits the world’s soft spots and everyone wants to march like them. That, or Morgan Freeman’s narration just seems to please people. It’s MORGAN FRIGGEN FREEMAN after all.

• Crash is released, with a shitton of critical acclaim and for revealing a little kept secret about our society. “OH SHIT! We’re racist?! Who knew?!”

J Valentine Feat. Bailey - I’m Sprung (Bay Area Remix)

Music:

• I move home and discover the bay area’s latest craze. Shame. Hyphy music. Sorry, I do not want to go dumb.

• It’s another year for dance hits. Amerie is telling you about 1 thing, T.I. is talking bout bringing em out, Ciara got like 4 joints out there, Eve & Gwen Stefani remake a Dance Hall hit talking bout if I was a rich girl, and 50 cent is innuendo loaded talking bout candy shops and shit… real winner of a year no?

• The Black Eyed Peas release one of the dumbest albums ever talking bout don’t “Phunk” with my heart and “my humps,” but how would we know that while this ish was dumb… we’d have yet to see the truly dumb dumb DUMB and I don’t mean in the GO dumb sense, but just straight stupid shit coming from Akon and T-Pain who’d just released their first singles. First singles which had in some cases been bay-hyphy-ified and made even worse, if that’s even possible. Yep yep it is.

DubZeros 2004… THE YEAR OF YEEZY: Dec 26, 2009 at 1:44 PM

2004

Politics:

• Condeleeza takes over for Colin Powell. Never have I ever seen some a meaner stank eye than Ms. Rice’s.

•Kerry V. Bush 2. We all know how that resulted– and we’re therefore only getting two entries for politics in 2004.

Fashion:

• Skinny jeans and leggings debut as the go to pants for hipsters, girly girls and others.

• Kanye West/Fonzworth Bentley and others introduce hip hop to the “grown ass man look” and Louis Vuitton goes hip-hop fab.

• The trucker hat of two years ago makes way for hipster chic: tight jeans, “ironic” tshirts and plaid are about to make their mark.

Snoop makes Mashed Potatoes

Other:

• Martha Stewart goes to jail. Clip is of no relation but entertaining to say the least.

• Enter Facebook.

• Janet Jackson + Justin Timberlake + Superbowl = exposed boob + FCC panic.

Movies:

• Jamie Foxx plays Ray Charles, Hilary Swank plays another masculine[ized] role (to win the next year) this time as a boxer. Gael Garcia Bernal plays Che Guevera.

• Spiderman 2 is released and proves to once again make myself and a good friend want to swing off telephone poles and fly. Is it a great movie? Not necessarily, but it’s great when movies do that to you right?

• Mel Gibson manages to offend jews with one film. Good job Mel. Goooood job.

Music:

• THE WORLD IS BLESSED WITH THE GREATEST ARTIST OF ALL TIME KANYEEEZY. (THIS IS SOME BENJAMIN BUTTONS SHIT WHY WONT YOU LET ME BE GREAT BEYONCE HAD ONE OF THE BEST VIDEOS OF THE YEAR). ((Seriously, if you don’t get this… check this shit out… any entry with text should do)).

• 2004 is the year of the club jam. Between getting tipsy and being a freak-a-leek it seems like almost every song has the toxicity to infect even non-fans. Does it mean it’s good music? Not necessarily. But most people just wanna shake what they momma gave them anyway. A lot of one hit wonders had a good year.

Outkast Hey Ya O video Original

• Outkast releases it’s double album Speakerboxx/The Love Below reminding us that even though they’re not rocking it as a duo in the same way they are truly some of the best rappers alive. (TAKE THAT YEEZY).

Oh-Three: I Heart the DubZeros 2003: Dec 24, 2009 

2003

Politics:

• “Weapons of Mass Destruction”– I always sort of wondered what if we reconsidered and started treating things like oh I don’t know poverty, poor health care, bad educations, unemployment you know… day to day stuff as “WMDs” THEN WHAT?

• The short lived U.S. boycott of “French Fries,” and by boycott I mean that several red blooded patriots still ate them, just called them “Freedom Fries” instead. This was seriously one of the most passive aggressive forms of taking a stance on something I’ve ever seen. I mean REALLY? A) They aren’t French. B) WHAT DOES RENAMING THEM REALLY ACHIEVE? C) :AL:KJSDFKLjasdklajsdfa!

• In a moment that nearly broke my California–loving heart… we recalled Gray Davis (who didn’t really do shit wrong, I think Pete Wilson’s reign just made republicans all kinna messed up in the head) and elected the EM EFFING TERMINATOR instead. Seriously, few things have ever embarrassed me in terms of being from CA, or the Bay but between Schwarzenegger and Hyphy music, I’m really not sure which is worse.

Fashion:

• Late ‘03 saw the birth of Ugg boots being every goddamn sorority girl’s go to shoes if heels weren’t an option. Living in NY, and during the winter, it sorta made sense, but otherwise… ?!?! I realize they were invented in Australia and were in part related to aviation and surfing but IT AINT THAT COLD nor are you just exiting the surf. Having lived in Hawaii in the spring of 2004 and these bitches were still hot… I really really think there is a time and place and for the most part it is neither the time nor the place for these shoes. I’ll let out a disclaimer though that I think sheering is wonderfully warm and comfortable, but for house shoes folks. HOUSE SHOES.

•Ruffle Skirts… often paired with uggs… ugh, and I don’t mean that to be corny. I mean got damn no way. Ugh.

Big Fish - trailer

Movies:

•If you didn’t know, but some of you do. The movie Big Fish, which came out this year, could have been about my grandfather. My grandfather IS the main character in this movie. And while I could have commented about any of the other million of movies that came out this year I urge you people who are close to me, if you want to understand me better, watch this movie.

• Finding Nemo brought us Ellen Degeneres as a fish with short term memory loss and some of the best lines ever. More relevantly to someone who cares, Pixar masters digitizing water.

• Charlize Theron wins an Oscar for Monster proving yet again that for a pretty girl to be taken seriously in acting she’s either gotta be a vamp or ugly to win.

Other:

• Harley Davison celebrates their 100th anniversary, (relevant in that my Mom’s cousins are bikers and it’s

a random fact possibly more interesting that yesterday’s tooth whitening bit).

• We lose Kate “The Great” Hepburn. I made that name up I don’t think anyone actually called her that.

Music:

• 50 cent, and his mumbling self hit the airwaves with In the Club which becomes the over played song at the club when it’s someone’s birthday. Why it gotta be a birthday to have a reason to party? That never seemed to matter before this song? I also got a little weird about everybody being called shawty…

• Justin Timberlake releases his solo album… and in an effort to try and be the greatest sings, dances, writes songs, plays instruments and is generally cocky which girls swoon over. Personally his only work that really touches me, are his guest appearances on SNL as of late. Quit the whole serious acting/music thing and go join the cast. Take Neil Patrick Harris with you please!!!

Beyoncé;Jay-Z - Crazy In Love

• The world is graced with the insanity that is Jay-Z + Beyonce. I guess you could call them one of the world’s power couples, but I don’t think they got shit on Michelle and Barack. Bey becomes a bit harder and Jigga becomes… you know what, Jay stays stayed as himself.   

2002 Edition: I <3 the DubZeros Rant: Dec 23, 2009 

2002

Politics:

• A ton of companies including K-mart file bankruptcy. FYI: It started then.

• Bush 2 continues his plot to bring down terrorists, but passes the No Child Left Behind Act… a law that is deeply connected to why I do the work that I do, and why so many of our kids are failing… what a messed up name for a law.

• U.S. Hosts 2002 Winter Olympics in Salt Lake City.

Fashion:

• Crocs. The horror. The disgrace. WILL THEY EVER DIE?

• Asymmetry is in. Every girl I know who likes or has a reason to wear club wear is sporting a one shoulder top to the campus night club. Those who don’t really ‘get it’ have their bra straps exposed. I however still rock my favorite indie hip hop folk’s graphic tees.

• Apparently the whole bohemian ethnic inspired top thing came out this year, shit that you know my family wore often but is now out in stores… gives every white girl I know an opportunity to feel… “natural and connected to,” you know… the struggle or something.

THE WIRE - 100 Greatest Quotes (spoilers)

Other:

• Friendster becomes one of the first of the more modern social networking sites– and will be rendered obsolete by its predecessors.

•American Idol Madness… season 1. Thanks to this I will forever have those random moments where Kelly Clarkson’s “Since You’ve Been Gone” pops into my head to torture me.

• Oprah releases Dr. Phil into the wild for his own show. All that’s provided us with is wonderful parodies.

• Tina Fey, after finishing her 2^nd year as head writer at SNL, and the writing staff win an Emmy for Outstanding Writing for a Variety, Music or Comedy Program, perhaps there is hope for me to do the same some day?

• The beloved “Wire” begins its short lived run on HBO. By short lived I mean 6 seasons wasn’t enough.

Movies:

• Selma Hayek plays Frida Khalo, Khalo who’s long connection to the Bay Area has never been so sessí…

It frustrates yet fascinates my sister, mother and I who’ve long been fans of her art. Hayek just reminds me of what pretty girls with big chichis can do with themselves. (Draw on a unibrow and suddenly be considered Oscar worthy… though she wasn’t bad in the role.)

• Chicago is released… dancing singing, Renee Zellweger’s ribs. Catherine Zeta-Jones tears it up.

• Eminem releases 8mile… the movie/rap album about his life. BIG WHOOP. The Dave Chappelle Parody is better “SPAGHETTI SPAGETTI SPAGETTI.” (But we’re not blessed with his show till a year later).

Get Busy

Music:

• Hip Hop starts its whole “Part I and Part II” thanks to Diddy making way for R.Kelly to write a million part song about cheating… awesome.

• 2002 also seemed to be the year for insane hooks that get stuck in your head… Looking at the top 100 billboard singles… I can sing part of at least 59 of the songs attached. Yes they were the top 100 but they were also on the heaviest rotation and over saturated us.

• Sean Paul… brought a dance hall vibe to mainland U.S. and as a result made way for other such island things like the sometimes oft putting reaggeaton. I can say that “Get Busy,” did provide for many a hilarious moment watching people to try and shake it like a video girl. And by people I mean EVERYONE.

I <3 the DubZeros Rant: 2001– Dec 23, 2009

2001

I left my beloved San Francisco in the fall, for upstate New York, a vortex where things just weren’t quite real– at least not to me.

Politics:

• 9/11. 9/11. 9/11. 9/11. 9/11. 9/11. 9/11. 9/11. 9/11. 9/11. 9/11. 9/11. 9/11. 9/11.

P.s. This was my second day of classes. Thought I’d have to hitch hike back to the bay.

By October, when the world had slightly settled I got to go home for a week (damn you private schools for such wonderful things as October break) I decided to pierce my nose (one of the many types of things I do when I’ve been through something ‘big’).

On my way back, airport security asked if the sea salt I had to clean my piercing was actually anthrax. Irritated I said “No, it’s salt do you want me to eat it to prove it?” He said sure. It was a pretty gross mistake on my part but he let me through.

Fashion:

• Army Fatigues were in (though they never really seem to stray too far.) And could be found in about 800 different colors. I don’t know I it was some anti-establishment sort of thing with me but I never got into this trend. Maybe it was some new patriotism.

• Pink was no longer taboo for men.

• The appalling revival of trucker hats. From the cliché vintage or found in a goodwill sort to the highly over priced contour trucker hat set. An ex made me a personalized one. I think I wore it twice… a fact that makes me shiver to admit.

Halle Berry Accepts Oscar for Best Actress: Emotional and Hilarious!

Movies:

• To my chagrin the Lord of the Rings empire began to make its mark. For me that was on a housemate who’d later write her thesis on it and hang a map of middle earth in our living room. Never got it. Probably never will.

• Ocean’s 11 was re-released. Which seemed to cause a lot of women I know, even ones who didn’t care for him a great deal, to question what is it about Brad Pitt eating?

• Halle Berry gets her Oscar for Monster’s Ball. Big up for women of color, for crying in public and thanking Oprah instead of god.

Other:

• Jack Lemmon passed away, Walter Mathau the year before, ending their grumpy old men franchise.

• A random fact I managed to find that I’m not sure fits neatly into a category- “The tooth whitening industry sees a boom.”

Music:

• Alicia Keys debuts her voice, her piano and those BRAIDS. Cornrows on the comeback hello braids and beads of the past. But be forewarned just cause you got your hair did like AK, does not mean you were meant to sing ‘Falling,’ even if you feel like your personal anthem should be ‘A Woman’s Worth,’ please leave the singing to her.

• Napster shuts down. Again something I did not understand as of yet. But college did introduce me to Kaaza, Audio Galaxy and Limewire especially since we had the bandwith at school to download music. Though remember how long it took to download ONE song?

• Apple releases the iPod. I eventually owned the second generation one that came out 2 years later. Boy did I save for that thing but god was it worth it. I know I rip on youngings for not knowing what life was like before cellphones. But truth be told, the idea of carrying around a discman, or walkman… seems ridiculous.

Jennifer Lopez - Play

• 2001 in music marked the reign of Ja Rule, J Lo and Ashanti. Actually, I lie. It wasn’t Jlo or Ashanti that dominated… forreal it was Ja. I could barely go ANYWHERE without hearing Always on time, Living it up or his remix of I’m real. And actually, that’s a lie. Love Don’t cost a thing, I’m real the original, aint it funny, and play were on heavy rotation even in the grocery store too.

And as much as this shit bugged me (my friends and I clowning on the chorus of always on time– all the time, in the campus night club) I will be totally honest in saying that I was absolutely inspired by J.Lo’s hair in her Play video. And went to prom with the curliest mop I possibly could earlier that year. Even snuck some Peacock feathers in it. Yeah it sounds nuts but you know what, I think I looked pretty fly with that.